


Merman Melville; or, The Whale-Fucker

by kutsushita



Category: Moby Dick - Herman Melville
Genre: Crack, Mermaids, Other, Pastiche, Sperm Squeezing, Whales
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-26
Updated: 2018-12-26
Packaged: 2019-09-27 18:58:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 299
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17167523
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kutsushita/pseuds/kutsushita
Summary: Darling it's better down where it's wetter





	Merman Melville; or, The Whale-Fucker

**Author's Note:**

  * For [longwhitecoats](https://archiveofourown.org/users/longwhitecoats/gifts).



> This is extremely silly, and was written mostly by Herman Melville, with very slight tweaking from yours truly, and gratitude to JackOfNone and Gammarad.

Call me Fishmael. Some years ago, finding little or no squid in my oceans, I thought I would swim about and see the other watery parts of the world. It was soon thereafter in a clear sea that I encountered him. He was neither man nor fish, but something of both, singularly made, with two flexible human limbs, a pale body that shone in the diffuse light, a full beard and a head of flowing hair, and as smart looking a tail fin as ever cut through water. It was altogether a remarkably prepossessing exterior.

Gazing into his large black eyes, I could see he seemed to take to me quite as naturally and unbiddenly as I to him; he swam to me, pressed his small forehead against mine, stroked his hand along my side and clasped me round the flipper. Then he saw a strange, enigmatical object protruding out from underneath me, and eyed with no small lust my unaccountably large jet-black cone, though it be longer than he was tall, and nigh as thick as his waist about the base.

He swam down, and when I felt him eagerly squeezing his hands around it, a strange sort of insanity came over me. Squeeze! squeeze! squeeze! he squeezed till it begot such an abounding feeling that I almost melted into it, my flukes churning the water, until I richly broke to his fingers, and discharged all my opulence. There he bathed among those gentle globules of infiltrated tissues, catching them with open lips, kissing the black tip of my grandissimus, and then he resumed, continually squeezing.

Oh! Merman Melville! let us squeeze ourselves into each other; let us squeeze ourselves universally into the very milk and sperm of kindness. Would that you could keep squeezing my sperm forever!

**Author's Note:**

> Text taken from Moby Dick and Typee, both by Herman Melville


End file.
